Here you will find empath traits and different strategies you can use to deal with being an empath. Let me tell you a bit of how I discovered that I am an empath, and what I have been doing to deal with it.
A psychic told me I am an empath.
Ok, wait. Before you roll your eyes, hear me out!
I have been on a soul-searching journey trying to figure out what resonates, and how I can inject more joy into my life. Here I am trying to “live in the moment” as best I can, but I’m not Eckhart Tolle (yet?).
I have been feeling like I need more clarity in my life, so I start googling…and down the rabbit hole I go, and I find a cheaply priced psychic advice call. The site did not look gimmicky, so I figured why not.
So right off the bat, she tells me: “I don’t know if you know this, but you’re an empath.” I wanted to keep the ball rolling, and I had a lot of questions to ask in a short time, so I replied “Yeah, I know!” She was all like yeah, because a lot of people are “sensitive,” but not empaths, and you are MOST definitely an empath and you’re letting waaay too much in!
We finished up our call, and I felt super off after that, and into the next day too.
You would have thought this would have made me look into empath stuff.
A bit later still feeling bothered by the lack of answers from the psychic call, I decide to book a call with someone I wanted to book a call prior to the psychic call, but I was being too cheap to do it (haha). This person reads cards and brings your spirit guides in as well.
Yep, real woo-woo stuff. I was hype.
She too told me I am an empath.
Did I look into it?
I was too giddy from connecting, and all the other cool stuff she told me.
Ok so lastly, I talk to my friend’s mom who does Reiki and so many other things, and she tells me I’m an empath! At this point, I’m like, what is going on here?! I should look into this. She tells me about someone named Dr. Judith Orloff, who is basically the queen of this stuff.
Empath Traits? Try the test
Dr. Orloff has a self-assessed 20 question empath test on her site.
Out of the 20, I answered a strong YES to 18 and the other 2 were like a yeah.
Confirmed Empath here!
How do I deal with this?
To me an empath was a sensitive person, who is “empathic.”
Apparently not the case!
As I start going into my search on traits and how to deal, it feels like a light bulb constantly going off.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!
I’m not a drama queen, I just FEEL. Like, literally I feel what you feel.
There are different types of empaths. Some can literally feel your physical pain as if it’s their pain. Thankfully, that’s not me!
I can FEEL what you feel in an energy sort of way.
There have been COUNTLESS times I felt like I was an emotional roller coaster, but now I know the truth. I’m an empath.
So, as far as Empath Traits, I basically have…a LOT.
Empath traits include:
- Being told I’m “too sensitive”
- Being anxious
- Feeling drained by big crowds or malls
- Unable to tolerate itchy/uncomfortable clothes
- Easily startled
- Low pain threshold
- Overeat to cope with stress
- Often feeling like I don’t fit in
- Tend to socially isolate
- Prefer small group interactions vs large
- Feel at ease in nature (recharged)
- Prefer easy country side to big city living
- Feel physically unwell after an argument
- Takes a while to shake it off after being with someone negative/difficult
- Absorb people’s stress and emotions
Ok, so before looking into it I had no idea I was absorbing people’s emotions. Apparently, empaths can absorb them into their tissues and it can form energetic blocks!
After I find this out, I start looking into ways to deal.
Energy Healing: Dealing with the toxic stuff
Interestingly enough, I was planning on getting a massage, and noticed the place I was going to book offered Reiki fusion massages! So, reiki is a form of energy healing, and I figured an energy cleanse would be a great way to start me off on this new
joyney (haha, that’s what I initially typed and wanted to leave it) journey.
I booked the fusion reiki massage, and it was super relaxing. Not long after, my friend tells me her mom does reiki, and I book a distant reiki session with her. After this experience, I became super interested in it, and looked into an online course where I could learn at my own pace (2 tots all day with me!). The professor did an ‘attunement’ (this one was a distant reiki group session) as well. I will write more about my experiences with reiki in a future blog post.
A part of me is so relieved to have found out that I am an empath, but another part is still confused.
I’ve basically been absorbing other people’s emotions as my own. I literally didn’t even know what *I* actually felt.
There are so many techniques on coping. These are the ones that I have been using, and they seem to work!
Breath Work for Empaths
This one is super important, and something I try to always keep in my mind. It all comes back to the breath in all the spiritual -ish I’ve read. This isn’t just for empaths, anyone can make use of this!
Better ways to deal with stress and anxiety is something we all need help with (empath or not).
When I catch myself getting upset, I notice I’m usually holding my breath. Whenever I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I remind myself to breathe. I like the 4-7-8 breath (or as close to it as I can) when I feel the anxiety kicking in.
4-7-8 Breath For Dealing with Anxiety
- 4 count slow breath in
- Hold for count of 7
- 8 count slow breath out
Question Myself: A Great Way To Deal with Energy Changes as an Empath
Now that I am aware, I feel like I am a bit more in tune with myself. There are times I can literally feel the change of energy in me. A good way to deal is questioning where the feeling is coming from.
I ask myself where is this coming from? Is this me?
I consider my environment, or if I was just interacting with someone. Most of the time it’s not me, and I take a deep cleansing breath (woosaa) to release it. I keep telling myself slowly (in my head) this isn’t yours, and keep breathing in and out.
That alone makes me feel so much calmer.
Meditation: #1 way to deal with being an Empath
I take care of my 2 tots on my own (until my hubby gets home from work), so I can’t sit around for hours finding that inner zen. When those synchronized naps happen, you know I have to put in a little work!
There is always something that needs to be done during the day, trust me I KNOW-but you really do have to put in some time even if it’s a little. When my son started sleeping in a bit longer, I would sleep in right along with him, but unfortunately it left me no morning ‘Me Time.’
As soon as I wake up I do a little prayer, and then do a super short meditation (not always, but this is my ideal) before actually getting up. Sometimes my daughter sneaks into our bed, and I don’t want to wake her, so I just focus on my breath. The ‘monkey mind’ can be seriously annoying.
I can’t remember where I learned this, but while you’re breathing in say “Breathe in, I am breathing in.” Then breathe out, and say “Breathe out, I am breathing out.” So, I keep saying this in my mind for every breath.
Sometimes, especially for beginners like me, just focusing on the breath can be tough. So actually having something to think of (breathing!) to calm the mental chatter down is can be great.
There are guided meditation, partially guided, and of course what I like to call freestyle.
Occasionally I meditate during a synced up nap, or at night. I switch up the ‘style’ depending on my mood, and how much time I think I have. When I sync the kids’ naps, I know there is a chance they’ll wake up, so I usually freestyle it.
Some days I get into the ‘zone’ so easily, I see images, and I finish feeling energized. There have been times I have gotten really emotional during a meditation, and other times I couldn’t calm the chatter or focus, and I’d totally beat myself up over it.
There are times I will catch myself with expectations for the meditation, but I try to nip it as soon as I catch it. It’s tough.
It has been a bit of a struggle, but I’m working on letting go…letting it BE!
Journaling to Deal as Empath
I can’t have enough cute pens and notebooks! I always have a notebook and pen on my table for easy accessibility. You never know when that next big idea is going to hit, haha! I like to write 1 (or a few) intentions in the morning. I also use it to free write during a synchronized nap. Of course, this doesn’t happen every day, but the effort is there, trust.
Weekends, we’re usually out and about, so I try to set a mental intention when I’m getting ready in the bathroom. You KNOW intentions are everythang.
Nature is a MUST for Empaths
I really love being in nature. It is such a good way to help you deal with lifes stressors. Getting outside makes all the difference for me (and for the kids too)! There is nothing like popping the kids in the stroller and going for a nice LONG walk in the afternoon. It also helps me hit my fitbit step goal. Whoop!
Energy Vamps: How to deal when you’re an Empaths
It sounds a bit f-q’d up to refer to someone as this, but…some people can be really draining with all the negative talk!. We all complain, but these people just don’t know when to quit! I’d feel incredibly drained after interacting with certain people, now I know why!
When I know I’m going to have to interact with one of them, this is how I deal. I first take a nice cleansing breath. Then, I mentally make this energetic bubble around myself, and set the intention that only good can come through.
Of course we don’t always know when we’re going to come across a vamp. This is when intentions and affirmations come in. Intentions and affirmations can be some seriously powerful ISH. I could post a million, but I love this simple one below.
“I am protected.”Unknown
Crystals: Fun way of Dealing for Empaths
YAAAS, girl! I LOVE me some crystals! There are so many you can find that are said to help deal with being an empath. I already had a little collection going, and didn’t really want to buy any new ones just yet. Here are the ones that I have that are meant to help empaths.
- Rainbow Fluorite
- Black Tourmaline
- Clear Quartz
- Rose Quartz
- Lapis Lazuli
These crystals have so many uses (ie: Citrine helps with bringing abundance, Black Tourmaline helps with negative energy and EMFs, etc.)
DO you carry these with you all the time?
I DO keep citrine in my purse, lepidolite in my pocket (when I have pockets), and rainbow fluorite by my laptop.
I’m still really new to this empath thing and learning how to deal with being one. It has been a few weeks since I started dipping my toes in all the info. Some days feel so easy, and other days…not so much. Sometimes, just reminding myself to breathe makes all the difference in the world. I hope this helps you if you’re finding your way too. It’s all about reminding yourself on the steps you need to take to keep yourself grounded and protected.