Soul searching while momming. Say what?!
I know, I know! It’s hard enough to find your keys, let alone ‘find yourself.’
I definitely felt a major push to start looking inward after I had my son. During my middle of the night pump sessions, I’d find myself looking into one thing after another regarding spirituality, spiritual awakenings, and all things related. I’d come across one thing and fall in love with it only to be over it in the next few days.
Things went on like that for a bit, and my hubs was super amused.
I definitely felt I was on a path of a ‘spiritual awakening,’ but felt frustrated on so many levels.
Why am I feeling so angry? Why wasn't this just happening? Why do I feel like I have no time?
Feeling all of this while potty training my daughter, and feeding and changing my son every 2-3 hours, sounds pretty insane.
It’s a good thing I barely have any recollection of it.
I’m not even joking, it literally feels like a blur.
My son just turned 1 (check out his 1st bday celebration here) & my daughter recently turned 3! Now that they’re a little more independent, it has definitely eased up the load, and freed up a bit more of my time.
Part of the whole soul searching process has really reminded me that I need to be more mindful of my thoughts, and even my way of being. The process literally feels like a deconstruction of myself. My ‘old’ self. Like, I know I AM still me, I always have been (wink).
So, How Am I Able To Do My Soul Searching?
The biggest factor that has helped push my journey along has been something really sacred for me.
It’s called synchronized naps.
I am not even joking. I seriously feel BLESSED AF when I get them both down at the same time. Ahhh…hearing my own thoughts, how blissful!
I know how that sounds, but I really do love my kids (haha).
Soul searching has been incredibly fun AND incredibly exhausting. Right now it’s 1:19 AM and I’m awake and typing away.
Part of this ‘soul searching’ journey has been this urge to want to write. That’s why I decided to start a blog! I wanted to track my journey, and of course, I wanted to bring you along for the ride (haha)!
Lately, I have been a bit all over the place. I am not super techy, so the blog set up has taken up more time than I thought it would. I decided that I needed to just take a step back and leave it as is. It’s so much better to focus on the fun part-the actual writing! I can literally feel my soul smile because of it.
I used to feel meditation was for serious spiritualists. One day, I heard my own voice in my head.
“How are you going to find yourself if you can’t even hear yourself?”TexturesofNat
Meditation has definitely helped me with clarity. Synchronized naps have helped with being able to get the meditation itself in. When I know I have a lot going on for the day, I try for a simple meditation in the morning (I talk about it in my empath post).
I admit that lately I have not been meditating as much as I’m used to, and I totally feel it. September was a month full of celebrations for us. We had our wedding anniversary, my birthday, my husband and nephew’s birthday (same day), my son’s 1st birthday, as well as small gatherings for friends and family birthdays too!
I was going to sleep way later than usual, just to get things done that I wasn’t able to do during the day. Then, I’d wind up waking up frazzled to my son’s hunger cries, rather than a relaxed slow breathing session.
Now that things seem to be slowing down a bit, I am most definitely going to be more focused on creating a better routine for myself. This will most definitely include starting my energy healing course!
Another pull I have been having in my soul searching journey has been toward healing; getting energy healing done for myself, as well as learning about different modalities too. I am unsure as to where it’ll lead, but I am going along for the ride!
The adventure continues.